Why Willpower Isn’t the Answer — and What to Do Instead
If you’re like me, you’ve probably started a new diet, fitness plan, or morning routine and thought, “This time I’ll just be stronger and finally do it.” But then life happened — and the plan fell apart. For decades we’ve been told that the secret to change is willpower: grit your teeth, push harder, and you’ll succeed.
But if willpower alone worked, most of us would already be living our dream life — energized every morning, thriving in a strong body, and effortlessly keeping up with healthy routines. The truth? Willpower is a very short-term fuel. It burns hot, but it burns out. And when it does, you feel like you’ve “failed” — when in reality, the system failed you.
The Real Reason Change Feels Hard
Your nervous system, brain, and habits are designed to keep you safe and efficient — not to constantly reinvent your life. That’s why pushing harder feels exhausting: you’re trying to override a perfectly normal self-protection system.
What Works Instead
Lasting change comes when you:
Calm your nervous system first. Breathwork, sunlight, awareness, and micro-movements bring your body back to safety so your brain stops resisting.
Align your goals with your true values. When you’re clear on why you’re doing (or not doing) something, consistency feels natural and effortless.
Build habits you can actually live with. Small, repeatable steps wire in faster than giant overhauls. When you understand your thoughts and belief patterns, you begin to see why you act — or don’t act — in certain ways. From here you can re-write your thoughts, create aligned actions, and finally see the results you want.
Add strength — don’t take away life. Focusing on building (muscle, energy, capacity) instead of restricting (calories, joy) keeps motivation high.
Inside the Grow to Glow Collective
This is exactly how I work with my clients: mindset first, then body, then lifestyle. Together we dismantle the “try harder” trap and build a system that supports you — so you can grow stronger and glow brighter without fighting yourself.
Your Next Step
Instead of asking, “How can I push harder?” ask, “What would make this feel safer, simpler, and more supportive?” Start with one habit today — maybe a short walk, five minutes of breathwork, or a high-protein breakfast. Notice how different it feels when your system is on your side.